How you and your partner view and manage money plays a crucial role in the well-being of your relationship. Whether you're in the early, committed, or long-term stage, finances should be a regular discussion. In fact, studies show that 94% of couples who talk openly about money report having a “great marriage.” While talking about finances can feel intimidating, it’s an essential step toward building a solid financial future for you and your significant other. Elements is here to answer the top relationship and money questions and share strategies for setting financial goals in your relationship.

Question #1: How should you talk to your partner about money? 

Many couples find it difficult to discuss money without letting emotions get in the way. However, avoiding the topic only gives financial issues more time to grow and disrupt your relationship. The good news is that you don’t have to start from scratch! If you’re unsure of how to initiate the talk, here are a few tips to get your money conversations started:

Start With Wants, Goals, and Desires

Start by individually writing down your financial goals. Include areas that are causing stress — like debt, savings, or big upcoming expenses. Don’t just talk numbers – talk about what motivates you to spend and what matters most to you! Writing these things down helps activate what you’re thinking and helps you and your partner get on the same page. 

Make It a Date!

Set aside time to have these money conversations. Treat it like an important appointment—schedule it on your calendar and stick to it. Grab a bottle of wine and your favorite treat, and make it a date night! Something as simple as 30 minutes every month can make a difference.

You don’t have to tackle every financial issue at once. For example, your first meeting might focus on budgeting, while another can address debt or savings goals. Staying focused on one topic at a time helps keep emotions in check and makes progress feel achievable.

Work Through Your List Together 

Now that you have a list of priorities and a scheduled date and time to chat, it’s time to begin tackling the list and building the financial plan. During this process, it’s important to have the following to ensure each person’s goals are being met:

• A realistic budget that covers your monthly expenses
• Similar long-term goals for where you want to be in 10-15 years from now
• A solid plan for savings, including emergency funds and retirement

Creating a financial plan may seem overwhelming at first, but the more you work at it, the more solid your plan becomes. It’s possible for your plan to change as variable expenses fluctuate. If you notice that it’s affecting your goals, don’t be afraid to discuss adjusting the plan. There are several tools you can use to help you stay organized with your finances. Whether it’s a shared spreadsheet or a budgeting app, the more visibility you both have, the easier your discussions about money will be.

When you and your partner have a money talk, remember that compromise is essential. It’s unlikely that you’ll both get everything you want, but you can develop a financial plan that reflects both of your needs and values. It's important to show your partner that you're listening and that building a financial future is a collaborative effort that should always progress together.

Question #2: Should you combine your finances or keep them separate?

Deciding how to handle your finances as a couple is one of the biggest steps you’ll take toward building a life together. It’s also one of the most personal — and sometimes complicated — choices you’ll make with your partner. While there’s no one-size-fits-all rule, there are some best practices that can guide you to a plan that works for both of you.

Start with Honest Conversations 

Money has psychological links to our brains, our emotions, and our values. It’s important to have open dialogue with your partner, and it’s equally as important that your partner gives you the space to be vulnerable. This will help you build a foundation of trust and transparency, which sets you up to avoid one of the top relationship killers: money fights. A study at Utah State University found that couples who fight once a week are 30% more likely to divorce than couples who have disagreements a few times a month.

Find an Account Method That Works for You

When it comes to the joint-versus-separate account debate, every couple has their own strategy. Each approach has its pros and cons that couples will experience. Here’s a breakdown of each method:

Method 1: 100% Joint 

A joint account helps couples know exactly where their money is going. In this scenario, all incomes go into one shared account to be used for all expenses and assets. This is often referred to as “household income,” and it could be a good choice for partners that have similar spending habits and can have effective money conversations. 

Method 2: 100% Separate 

Having 100% separate accounts means that each person is in total control of their own finances. When it comes to household expenses, it’s normal for each person to split expenses 50/50 or decide who will take on what financial responsibility. This method tends to work best for couples who are both fully committed to their careers or couples who manage money differently. Additionally, some people prefer to have autonomy over their finances and feel that it reduces friction in the relationship if money is kept separate. 

Method 3: Hybrid or the “Yours, Mines, Ours” Method

Many couples have both joint and individual accounts. For example, you can create a joint account for shared expenses—like rent and utilities—and have separate accounts for personal spending. This method allows couples to reach their own financial goals while still contributing to a shared goal. Relationships that use this hybrid method may still use a different principle, such as the 50/50 rule, to determine how much money gets distributed to the joint account.

Be Flexible and Compromise

Whether you’re combining income, keeping them separate, or doing the hybrid approach, it’s important to keep your options open. Over the years, you’ll change jobs, get raises, or maybe have kids – causing you to revisit the drawing board. The most important thing is to prioritize open communication and finding compromises that work for both of you. The same principle can be applied to saving. If your relationship works well with shared accounts, consider creating joint savings for a goal you both care about. This could be a dream vacation you’re planning or saving up for the next big relationship milestone like marriage or children. When you work as a team, you’ll create an ideal financial plan while strengthening your relationship in the process – creating a future that you both can love!

Question #3: How can you and your partner stay committed to your financial plan?

Sometimes, our goals can weigh on us, leading to stress, uncertainty, and even inconsistency. The good news is that you’ve already accomplished the toughest part: planning. We all have moments when we fall short or lose sight of our progress, but there are simple strategies you and your partner can use to stay consistent:

Get Creative

Sometimes, sticking with the same routine can bore you, making you and your partner unmotivated. If this is the case, try gamifying your financial plan and celebrating small wins together. For example, if you’re working toward a joint emergency fund of $1,000, plan a fun date when the account hits $500. Or, if you’re both tackling individual debt, make it a friendly challenge to see who can pay off the highest-interest debt first—the winner gets to choose a reward!

Maintain Transparency

Honesty is essential in a healthy relationship. If something is bothering you or you're feeling overwhelmed, share it with your partner. Remember that this financial goal is a team effort, and if one of you is struggling, the other should be there to provide support. Relationships aren’t easy – and neither is managing finances – but as long as you have each other, there’s nothing you can’t achieve.

Lean on Elements for Support 

Sometimes, having a neutral outside perspective can be helpful. Just like a health checkup, financial checkups help you identify issues early on and highlight areas for improvement in your plan. Whether you’re merging your accounts, setting up new ones together, or creating a strategic budget plan to reach your goals, Elements’ financial experts are here for you and your family!